Uri, what am I doing...
I was just given this message... and here I sit and it's as if I never heard it!
I feel like I can't trust! Like I'm spinning out of control all because of something so small! So very small :(
It is small, but I fear for what it could mean!
And I keep putting my hand in the bear trap! Every single time!!!!
I just want to cry. I want to sit and sulk because I miss my friend and I feel like it's all lost. I feel like it means nothing.
Is this all in my head. Am I making something out of nothing?
What is it that I really want?
Recognition, acknowledgement, My friend back!
I want my friend back.
So what am I going to do... because this seriously destroys me every time.
He says I can call tonight. Do I want to? Not really...
when it comes to this, it's either an in or out thing. Why is there no waiting?
I feel like there is no way to release this tension I feel!
I feel like I'm a mess... a huge ball of doubt and fear... and all of that carries into the experiences I have with the person.
Like I can't stand my ground there, Like I can't be who I am.
Why? Why does this one person get to take all of this away from me? Why do I let it happen? What lesson do I keep signing up to learn here.
To trust.
Ok... to trust what?
Trust yourself and trust your heart.
I feel like I'm wrong.
Do you? Do you really feel you are wrong or do you feel that there is nothing to stand on to base the trust on.
I feel like I'm too wrapped up in something that isn't important.
What would I say to him if I could tonight:
I feel like you're ignoring me. I feel like I don't matter to you... base on WHAT? Seriously? On comments on FB... on liking status's in FB?
Haven't you been through more than that?
I don't know. I feel like I need to get away.
