Drifting

Dear Uri,
Is it the switch of that Fall in the air. I feel adrift about many things.
Have I lost myself again in so much? Or have I come to another point where I am being too harsh on myself? I sent a large chunk of the summer feeling like I was talking the talk but not walking the walk... it took a lot to realize that that was a bunch of hooey.
It's so easy to get into that mind frame though... I don't go to the gym, I consider it slacking. I veg out in front of the TV and don't leave the apartment, and I judge it. I eat processed foods or things that I know aren't really healthy for me, and I start feeling worse and worse. I let all this slide... and then I begin to judge myself for this behavior.
Why?
Why Judge it? I think because I know I can do better. Yes it's summer, yes it's nice to eat something not so healthy. I was also working on a show and so cooking because more difficult due to time constraints. I've been giving readings on the weekends and after work so I've been giving a lot of time outside of what I have in the past.
These are all ok things. It's all an adjustment, but I am riding my own ass about it. The harsh judgment needs to stop. It only makes me feel worse which leads to more harsh judgement or decisions that aren't healthy but made from a reactive place. I don't want to do that any more.
Yesterday, I was pushing and pulling a good deal. I feel I have been more that usual this week.
There is a desire for attention and distraction that is taking me away from myself. It has been tricky to buckle down and to the things that I want to do.
Doing the things that are in my highest good does mean DOING them... and I get to the point of recognizing that... seeing this place to dock. "yes, I want to turn off the TV and spend some time doing this" but then I push away and go back out to sea. When it actually comes to it, it is difficult for me.